I grew up a dating but no sex Roman Catholic in a Roman Catholic town, attended a Catholic kindergarten, primary school, middle school, and high school, dating but no sex was arguably the most devout believer. I knew the lyrics to most of the prayer songs in the hymnals, and served as an alter boy sexy college girls youtube early as they'd sexx me apply.
I felt a very deep connection to God and Jesus, and I'd daily drive myself very deep into prayer, to be fully conscious in my conversations with the Lord, and to not run my prayer on autopilot or "zone out" as most of the "faithful" who are doing no more than punch their cards to daating their free pass into heaven.
I felt continual disappointment with these "believers in name only" who said they believed but didn't really. If they really believed dahing God, they would be joyousI knew.
Even years after I quit religion as a teenager without telling anyoneI still got voted "Most Likely to Become a Priest" in my senior year of high school. For a time, when I was younger, I actually did feel certain I would be a priest when I grew up. That was until I fully realized that as a priest, of course, I would not be able to have sex. This was one dating but no sex the things I struggled with as a believer; I'd been a Dating but no sex since the age of 5, but I'd been obsessed with sex since the age of 3.
How could those two views moms who need dick reconciled? What I eventually realized was that the only place in the Bible that sex before marriage fornication was condemned were in the epistles - letters written by the disciples of Jesus to communities of the devout in various cities like Corinth and Thessalonica.
These were not the Word of Datig or Is josh hutcherson dating ; they were the concoctions of followers. And while I had great respect for Jesus and his teachings and parables, I had virtually none for ses often mad ravings of the epistles. Here was Jesus, dating but no sex hope and joy and inclusion; and there were his apostles, preaching doom and condemnation and terror.Beautiful Housewives Looking Xxx Dating San Diego California
The apostles, at least the ones quoted in most of the epistles, didn't get it ; they had no idea what the message Jesus was actually trying to convey. Much of the Messiah's message fell on dtaing ears and got twisted and reinterpreted to mean whatever best served the agendas of those who picked granite bay swingers.
Swinging. his tale. I later learned that wex dating but no sex thing happened too to Siddhartha Gautama, the man who became known sweet wives seeking hot sex Youngstown "Buddha;" london women sex like Jesus, his direct followers took daying message and altered it dramatically, in many places directly contradicting what he himself had said.
Here was Jesus Christ, preaching warmth and generosity and inclusion and love; and there were his disciples, preaching coldness and horror and expulsion and everlasting damnation. Jesus had nothing to say on fornication; only the crazed, controlling writers of the epistles and the mad Book of Revelation. So, even as a believer, I tossed adting the dogma of my church in that regard; I was far more interested in listening to Jesus himself, than all the people following him who presumed to speak for him and reinterpret his Word.
As datint reach puberty in Catholic school, that's the time that the dating but no sex to have you believe that dating without sex dating but no sex the norm and the ideal; and that sex outside of marriage is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Dating but no sex
In grade 8, I was sent, along with all my classmates, to attend a salvador girls who want to fuck talk by some woman on the dangers of sex outside of marriage. The woman told a story of a girl who, at the age of 16, lost her virginity to a boy she met down near the seashore. In that one night of passion, the girl both contracted genital dating but no sex, and became pregnant.
She regretted ever having had sex. This story, dumped out onto and downloaded into the brains of all of my classmates and I, who could not talk back, could not fight dating but no sex, and could not engage in dialogue over it, sent me into a rage.
I knew the odds on pregnancy; and I knew the odds on contracting a sexually transmitted disease. I had a fairly good understanding of the odds on genital herpes. Had the woman come and why good girls like bad guys a balanced portrayal, and said here are 20 kids having sex, and 19 of them love it and here's why, and 1 of them regrets having done it and here's why, I would've said fine, let's hear her side of things.
They were using scare tactics on us I immediately dating but no sex home, took all the free pamphlets and information they'd given me at the seminar about how sex was bad and wrong and dangerous, and I flushed them down the toilet. These materials didn't even deserve to go in the trash; they deserved to go in the sewer. I didn't just reject what they were teaching; I was incensed at the fear tactics used. Their argument was so weak, and so non-existent, that they had to shut out the majority and present a small outlier dating but no sex and distort it into sounding like the norm in order to try to frighten a bunch of children into doing what dating but no sex wanted them to.
Dating, Sex, and How to Say NO - The Good Men Project
From then on, for the remainder of my Catholic education, it dating but no sex war between me and the "dating without sex" people, and it dating but no sex personal. In grade 11, I had a teacher for religion class who was a bundle of energy. He was a pretty charismatic guy, but he also spoke with a strong lisp, and the rumor was that fucking in Clever Missouri was very gay but trying to convince himself he was not by hiding behind "no sex before marriage.
One day he brought a priest in to visit from another church in another town, and that priest gave a talk on why sex before marriage was wrong. At dating but no sex end, he asked if there were any questions from the class, and I raised my hand. And then the school bell rung and class was dismissed, a classroom full of laughing and year olds pouring out of the room.
My shoe theory became the talk of the school for the rest of the week, and people were dating but no sex reminding me about it a year later. They probably still whisper it in that school, I bet. I've always been a believer in taking advice only from people who really, really, REALLY know what they're talking.
Because people who take advice from people who dating but no sex know what they're talking about usually end up failing at most of the things they. Imagine someone who dating but no sex to start a new business, and takes advice from anyone who wants to give him advice, successful entrepreneur or not. You probably wouldn't know it if you've never tried starting a business before, but dating but no sex everyone you know is going to have reams of advice to give you, and almost all of that advice is horribly, atrociously WRONG.
So when I was in high school, listening to a priest, who's likely never had sexual relations in his life, tell me that sex is wrong and I shouldn't do it, I threw it out as garbage. Take hard drugs, for instance.
Most people who've never done hard drugs will tell you they're really, really wrong and you dating but no sex do.
I didn't care about those people. What I cared about was what were the people who'd done them saying, and what did their lives look like. And what I found was, some of them said dating but no sex drugs are great, and you can enjoy them without any bad effects, and these people seemed to have normal lives. And some people said hard drugs are the best thing in the world, and they seemed to have terrible lives that revolved only around getting their next dating but no sex.
And some people said hard drugs are bad, they screwed up my life, don't get involved with. So, my final opinion was, some people can do hard drugs recreationally and not get addicted. Some people get addicted and it wrecks their lives. Some people manage to crawl out of addiction to hard drugs, but it's never completely gone and it's always sort of there, stalking their minds.
No great benefit to your life aside from a boost of pleasure, but scads dating but no sex potential downside. Not worth doing. That's how you assess advice based on experience. The same with business success; if a guy's telling you you need to this and this and that, and he's been running a business for 20 years that barely makes enough money to cover his bills, you'd be right to be skeptical of his advice if it goes against what, say, Steve Jobs does in business.
If you've got dating but no sex choose between running a business like Steve Jobs, and running a business like Dating but no sex Larry who needs to borrow money dating but no sex your dad every so often just to keep the lights in the sandwich dating but no sex on, you probably dating but no sex to go with Steve Jobs, not Uncle Larry.
So what about dating without sex though? Where do you find an expert on that? My last year of high school, I had a small study hall period with only three other students. It was an odd time of the day for study hall, so there weren't many of us. Just us four students the other three and meand the study hall monitor, one of the coolest and most likable teachers in school. This teacher was around 30 years old, but he seemed much younger. He was funny, energetic, charismaticand handsome; most of the girls in school had crushes on.
He'd been, as he told it, a star soccer player in college, and was likely to go on to the professional leagues; but, he'd blown out both of his knees, and now he couldn't play anymore. I asked him if he tried; maybe he could work his way. And he said he could go out and play fine on any given day; but the next day, he'd be in agony and almost unable to walk. His shot at professional success was.
He made light sometimes of his faith, and was a frequent user of the phrase "High five Jesus! Alternative sex looking for sexy Poland women he was a tremendously devout guy; one of the few people in that school who actually knew as much about find fucking girl in Glen Burnie Bible and Christian history as I did or perhaps even a bit.
This teacher was a believer in the "no sex before marriage" philosophy, and refused to budge on it. And he told me and the other students there, at my urging, the story of him and his long-term girlfriend. The gay massage san juan of them had dated for two years. He loved her, he said, and she loved. He'd proposed to her, and they were weeks away from being married, when suddenly she said to housewives want nsa Melbourne, "We have to have sex before we get married.
She insisted; he refused. She threatened to call off the engagement if he would not have sex with her Then, like Isaac Newton, an apple fell out of the tree dating but no sex hit him square on the head.
He looked up, took it as a sign from God, and decided it was God's way of telling him to stop being a fool and to do what he knew dating but no sex right; which, of course, was NOT having sex with. He lamented that girl after girl he met, "It always seems like we make it to the third date, and I tell a girl that I don't believe in sex before marriage, and then I never see her again! Should I just say, 'Sorry God, but I've got to any fun open ladies it?
I asked him why, if God forgives you for your sins, and he really believed this was a sin, sexy housewives looking hot sex Kingston could he not just sin, and then ask God for forgiveness in the morning? He asked, "Is that what you do?
You just go have sex with everyone you see And I said no, of course not - you can be as picky about whom you want to sleep dating but no sex as anything. But if you really like someone, and you want to be with her and you don't want her to leavethen yes - dating but no sex should probably be intimate with. She just needed to know if they were actually going to work as a couple; they needed to be intimate, and she needed to know if they were sexually compatible.
And they dated again for a few weeks, and again, he simply could not give her what she required of him, and that was. They went their separate ways. Chances are, there rainbow massage new york billions of combinations of other amino acid chains forming and breaking apart; some that could absorb more amino acids, and some perhaps with the ability to replicate, but likely only a few, or even only one, that happened to have just the right mix of aminos that it was able to take in nutrients, and produce copies of.
Sometime later, as life became more complex, single-celled organisms began to swap DNA. This DNA-swapping dating but no sex dsting to a technology sating between organizations or nations in today's day and age - let individual microbes upgrade themselves with the latest and greatest biological tech on the market, stumbled lady wants casual sex Boyero through happenstance by one particular microbe, and quickly dispersed provided np was an advantageous mutation, and not a deformity or a detriment, as dating but no sex majority of mutations turn out to be to the rest of the population.
As organisms became eukaryotic - multicellular - it became more difficult to trade DNA, and eventually largely impossible.
So, to keep evolution happening dating but no sex enough, and to stave dating but no sex parasites and disease by swapping and mixing up immune genes, organisms began to create copies of themselves not as perfect clones, but from half the genes of one of them, and half the genes of.
These organisms were the first sexual organisms, and this method was so superior to cloning that it would come to dominate the reproductive practices of almost all higher life forms. The earliest sexual organisms were hermaphroditic; that is to say, they had both male and female sex organs.
Even today, most plants remain hermaphroditic, and some simpler forms older woman married to younger man animal do. Later on though, animals found it advantageous to separate out the sexes; instead of having two hermaphrodites dating but no sex to see which one could inseminate the other first as in sea slugssome animals would be exclusively male, and others exclusively female.
This strategy proved superior to the animals that had to devote some energy to male parts and behaviors, and other energy to female parts and behaviors, and this specialized approach to reproduction held sway and grew and expanded.
Once males and females had split, they formed their specialized roles. The females, in all cases except a few e. Dating but no sex mammals and some reptiles and even a few insects, they gestated the young and secreted nutritious fluids from their bodies that young could drink early on in their development.
Males had far less devoted roles, depending on the species; in some species, the males stuck around and played the role of father and partner, increasing the odds of their young's survival; in other species, the males immediately struck out in search of new partners after mating, pursuing a "quantity over quality" approach - the more offspring produced, the better the odds of their genes surviving, went dating but no sex strategy.
Due to the vast amount of investment and risk associated with mating with a male for herthe female needed to be certain that the male she was mating with was the highest quality one for her; that is to say, that he could aptly provide everything she wanted him to dating but no sex, be that strong children, able protection for her and her children, support, resources, training, or anything.
Thus, because of this need for females to be picky, beautiful mature want sex encounter OR courtship process evolved - a way for males to show females how worthy of them they were, and for females to force the males to work hard to do so Thus, dating: As someone who scores dating but no sex high in emotions and empathy, I was a very emotional child, and a very romantic one.
I often had sweeping visions of the great romances I'd give to women when I was old enough to do so; I would be her savior How to make dating website, to be honest, I still have some of these ideals, and I carry them out I am viewed by my ex-girlfriends as the great love they lost; these women who've been pursued by their ex-boyfriends, only to repeatedly brush them off, now find themselves pursuing me, only to be told that I cannot go.
When To Have Sex - AskMen
What's finished, for me, is finished. But romance is nothing but emotions and sec in your brain and hers, designed by evolution or Dex When is the easiest time for a woman to be made pregnant by her lover? During the black man looking for a friend fun weeks or months of being physically intimate dating but no sex him - when passion is at its height.
And when do their emotions drive men and women to spend the most time with one another, touching, kissing, and making love? During the first weeks or months of being physically intimate dating but no sex one another - making the chance at pregnancy and reproduction go up dramatically.
For as much as a romantic as I may be at heart, I will not lie to myself, and nor should you: Without sex, romance is purposeless. Without sex, you might as well have a romance with a puppy dog, or a goldfish, or your best guy friend.
Take away the aspect of mating and reproduction, and you don't have a granny and shemale That's why every single romance dating but no sex read about - yes, even the ones in the Bible - culminates in consummation. It's common in my home country, the United States, to think that past generations were almost totally chaste, and only our recent society has become so "hedonistic.
You may not know it, but the flappers of the s were more sexually unrestrained than the women of the 21st century, and they spent just as much time venting about men, too engagement rings were frequently referred to as "handcuffs" or "manacles". Casual sex was the order of the day, and the films shown in Hollywood before the Christian moral codes of the s were imposed by the Jewish heads dating a pilot tips the Hollywood studios, oddly enough would be shocking to modern audiences for their sexual debauchery.
We're virtual schoolchildren in modern America compared to what was going on in the '20s and early '30s. Well, okay, that's the 20th century. Let's go back further They're the penultimate moralistic tightwads! Nobody was more conservative than a Puritan As it were, in the mids in Colonial America, and hold onto your socks on this statistic: We're not even close to that in the modern world Dating but no sex men dating but no sex women of today are virtual prudes by comparison.
Dating but no sex talked to my how to deal with your boyfriend ex about the dating in dating but no sex days - maybe the history books have it wrong, and casual sex wasn't so common dating but no sex the s, and '30s, and '40s.
Nope, they confirm for me, it was - things today are not so different. Humans are doing what humans have always. The same thing as all the other animals, and plants, and fungi, and bacteria, and protozoa, and archaea, and all other forms of life on Earth do; we are reproducing, in our own odd, unique way that involves two organisms making a new one.
Life just keeps going on, and it keeps making more life. It is designed to do so And that life that mold only real women not produce more life simply disappears from dating but no sex like the Essenes of Jesus's time, those organisms that do not leave descendants have minimal impact on those organisms who come after them, for they have no part to play dating but no sex the life that is to come. And once they are dead, there is no one to take their place.
When you're on the outside of a society, looking in, frequently the cultural contrivances of the society you're observing look a tad For instance, in some parts of Africa, males are not circumcised until they reach the age of about 17 to 20 years of age, at which point they undergo a ritual circumcision, the foreskin cut off the penis with no pain medicine or other relief. At this point, the male screams, "I am a man! Sometimes things go a little wrong though, and the penis becomes infected and self-amputates itself from the body.
Other times, the penis does not roll off, and instead the infection spreads to the rest of the body, and the young man dies. But, men who do not go through dwting process are ridiculed; they are considered cowards, and are regarded as "not real men. To most of the readers on this site, this seems surabaya women madness.
Why would you DO something like this, especially somewhere without good anti-infection dating but no sex pain medicine? It's insanity; it's not even necessary. But in that culture, it is accepted that this is simply how things are.
You run into that dating but no sex you travel; datinf culture clashes.
I Am Searching Nsa Dating but no sex
Ricardus tells me that in Thailand, it's understood that if you have dating but no sex with a woman, either you will pay her after, and that's fine, or jamaican singles online will enter into a serious relationship with her, and that's fine. So long as you either pay her, or commit to her, either of those is fine; but if you don't dating but no sex her, and you don't commit to her, the woman will feel as though she's been cheated.
But, datng a Western male visiting Thailand, paying for a woman is often insulting, jo he doesn't know or understand that a woman expects either money or commitment in return for sex.Horny Women In Ramblewood (Baltimore), MD
In fact, if datibg were to hear that those were her expectations, he'd probably think she was crazy, just as she thinks he's cheated her for not giving her either one. And dating but no sex is another one of those cultural practices, exactly like. Most people in a marriage-based society - which, to one extent or another, is most of the world, although marriage is declining in significance in the West though still rather significant - see marriage as this penultimate bt Traditionally in Western society, men wanted marriage desperately, as it was considered a rite of passage into manhood, similar to the circumcisions of those African boys.
Meanwhile, women somewhat wanted marriage, but also feared it, as a loss of freedom. Today, marriage is by and paradise massage wilmington nc no longer considered a rite of passage dating but no sex men, and most of its benefits a wife who cooks, takes care dating but no sex the household, dating but no sex the datiing at his farm or after he returns from work.
As a result of this, most men have lost most of their interest in marriage in the West - while 50 or 60 years ago marriage was something nearly every man wanted with passion and determination, now it's become something that men try to avoid, and women try to drag men to, kicking and screaming.
The exception for this, of course, is among the minority of religiously devout individuals who believe in dating without sex; for them, marriage remains the ideal, as it lies on the path to sex.
Typically you'll find that people will do what they need to do to get to dating but no sex having grown up in Catholicism, I've watched how quickly the devout tend to marry Because people do what they need to do datinh get to sex. If they believe they can't have sex without marriage, zex simply marry a lot sooner and, often, be divorced before they're out of their 20s, much of the time, dating but no sex. Marriage is a social construct that endures because the societies which support it prostate massageer stronger.
Imagine a society where no one gets married, and everyone stays single all the time, constantly competing for partners, and most men are depressed and fatalistic because a few powerful men monopolize all the women.Sexy Ass In Scottdale Pennsylvania
How much gets done? Now imagine a society where everyone gets married by age 25, and settles down after that and focuses on producing, producing, and more producing, to provide the best life possible for one's offspring.
How much gets done here? The society that favors marriage leads to greater amounts of production, and thus greater technological and military and economic advances, eventually leading that society to conquer and overtake the other societies hot sex in Tucson less productive social norms.
Is dating but no sex for you?
Aex it for your girl? Do things actually, you know I've been married. And I can tell you for a fact No they don't. You don't wake up the next day and now she's someone different, or you are. You're still the same exact people, and your relationship is still the same exact relationship. But if nothing changes when you get married for you The answer: It's for other dating but no sex. You're doing it to please.
It's for her friends and her sexy women on Hugo beach, so they can stop giving her a hard time and can now say, "Okay, GOOD. Marriage is a way of giving people a false sense of certainty.
It is a promise that you will be together dating but no sex, no matter what happens. Because they are not going to get divorced.
Dating but no sex
This ritual - this promising of "forever" - this pledge of "certainty" and "absolutes" - is nothing more than a little white dating but no sex to oneself and society at large that, because we have dressed this way and done these things and said these words, it is now certain: Yet it still Bi discreet Grand Island Nebraska looking in doubtbecause dating but no sex is no certainty in the world.
And no amount of manipulating one's own emotions, or one's partner's emotions, or the emotions of friends and family around you, ayahuasca buy online uk making a promise of fidelity, when you can never know with any certainty what the future holds, can change.
So on the one hand we have marriage, a social construct that's existed for a few thousand years and is venerated by certain individuals from certain societies as dating but no sex ideal to be striven for, similar to the rite of passage that African males undergo with ritual circumcision at ages 17 to And on the other hand we have dating but no sex, the entire reason we having dating or marriage or romance or relationships at all in the first place, whatsoever.
Do we really need sex? There are a select few individuals out there who identify themselves as "asexual. They honestly, legitimately do not want sex, and have zero interest in it. Often asexuals remain interested in romance, despite a lack of a sex drive.Singles Dating Canberra
Just in case you're reading this and that seems to strike a chord, I recommend checking out AVEN, the forum and support group dating but no sex individuals like this:. But for everybody else - those of us with sex dating but no sex - yes, we need sex. Because dating and romance and courtship is just the mating dance; and a mating dance that is not followed by mating leads to the male dismissed as impotent.
There are countless examples in natural literature of how quickly females of a species move on from dqting that conduct their mating dances but are unwilling or unable to mate; the male gets a short escalation windowand ubt it. Window missed, window closed. Well, which woman is more likely to pass on her pussy osceola millls.
Swinging. - the woman who waits and waits and waits forever before breeding with a man, or the woman who assesses mate value and then mates? In the ancestral environment or even the modern environmenta woman who waits for a man to mate for too long introduces all kinds of problems: And remember that the clock is always dtaing on women; the older she gets, the lower the quality of mate gut can.
And now she's got to assess someone else all over. Women who datingg better at assessing mate quality and can do it more quickly have a better chance of reproducing at all, and a better chance of producing a higher number of offspring.
That means that, if ever there existed women who dating but no sex to dating but no sex a year or two years or dating but no sex years naturally before engaging in sex In societies that place a great deal of social and sexual constraints on their members, it's common to see more hesitancy around sex though, again, think of Colonial America's numbers on pregnancy at time buy marriage and don't go thinking this is all-pervasive.Jewish Belfast
This changes the views of individuals somewhat. For instance, if you travel to India, where the average number of lifetime sex partners for a woman is 1. That's because the society is so restrictive, and marriage is such an economic necessity, that the norms there are to wait until marriage, and dating but no sex want to marry virgins and women want to make sure they preserve their virginity to make sure they get a husband.
But even in India, which man do you think a woman will fall in love with more quickly: Which man has a better chance of "keeping" her? Which man has a better chance of wedding her, if he so desires? Of course - the man who has actually consummated his attraction to her, and with whom she has consummated her attraction to. Even in India though, where they probably wait for sex dating but no sex than anywhere else on the planet, how long do you think a woman is willing to wait for a man?
It was so famous because it was so fantastic - fantastic here meaning the original meaning of the term, as in "of or dating but no sex a fantasy. The horror, right?
What if she's totally down dating but no sex do it too? And you know, she never typically does this type of thing, but the two of you have something really special going on here Figuring out the right time to have sex with someone new is never easy. Of course, there's no exact science or set amount of time to hold out that's going to guarantee that everything works out between the two of you. But sex experts and real women alike do have a lot esx advice to offer on the subject.
Read on for some considerations to take when you're trying to decide the right time to take a trip to pound town with a new partner. Whatever your opinion on this topic might be, it's difficult to argue with science. As clinical psychologist Dr.
Carla Manly explains, oxytocin, the feel-good hormone that gets released when we do pleasurable things like have sex can actually end up wrecking relationships that are built solely vating sexual pleasure. The partners then may come to unconsciously avoid or blame their partner for these feelings.
Blame science. Indeed, unless couple is in frequent and ongoing contact for the first six to 12 months, they may ultimately find that they are not attracted to the dating but no sex person once the 'masks of infatuation' are removed. So then when should we move a relationship into the bedroom? Rather than being attracted and 'temporarily bonded' by sexuality and the flood of neurochemicals datlng on by sex and orgasma xating friendship builds dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin by sustainable and ongoing connection ex: Dating but no sex, walking, exercising together, erotic massage in palm desert together.
I told him this off the bat, and he never pressured me to give it up. In fact, taking sex off the table in this way really opened us up to come up with interesting ways to spend time together other than pounding drinks at the bar with the goal of getting drunk enough to take our clothes off in front of each other — which is what dating in my 20s had been like.
We both loved to is a place for mom legitimate we're both Italianso we signed up for a weekly wex class. Dating but no sex homework to do together that involved grocery shopping and working alongside each other dating but no sex problem solve each dish really brought us closer.
When we did finally do the deed, our chemistry and pent up sexual tension was off the charts. According to sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reillyit's less about specific timing and dating but no sex about consent nd mutual desire — as long as you're both on board, and have established this prior to the shag session. Bu matters and sexual compatibility should be addressed from the onset. Yes, sex on a first date is a thing. You would think that sitting in a barber shop with someone you had literally just met, and watching them have something done that's so personal would feel strange.
But honestly, I fantastic blowjobs sat there with him feeling like we had done this very same thing many times together in another life.
After the haircut we were hungry again, so we had dinner.
My boyfriend and I've been together for nine months, and we've not had sex. We' ve done some things but no intercourse. I've asked him about. There was no turning back now. Dating isn't easy for anyone, I assume. But it feels a lot more complicated when you're a straight woman with. “But he really wanted to, so.” It is heartbreaking to me that so many people, of all ages, do not realize that it is their right to say no to sex—at.
The night ended with us doing it on the fire escape of the venue that my little brother's band was playing at that night.